Thursday, June 19, 2008

For your amusement...

This article is of limited value on the amusement scale - some woman ran a stop sign on her bike and got ticketed for it (I personally think getting ticketed on my bike would make for a great blog post, and here's hoping if it ever happens that the officer is kind enough to snap a photo with me), then went all Erin Brokovich trying to get out of it. Anyway, what's hilarious to me in a head-shaking, seriously-who-are-you-people, don't-we-have-other-shit-to-worry-about kind of way is the lengthy discussion by commenters after the article, all flaming each other on the evils of riding a bicycle on the road. Not saying road safety isn't important and all, but - must we be so zealous? My favorite is the guy who calls us the "spandex cabal" - that's freaking awesome and I'm using it from now on. In fact I wish to be its leader. Starting now, I'm starting a rogue band of muckracking cyclists called The Spandex Cabal. It'll be awesome. We'll do things like wear spandex to work, or bike helmets to mow the lawn, or our cycling shoes to church, then sneer at everybody with attitude when they wonder what the hell we're doing. When on the road we'll get cycling jerseys with printing on the back - wait, better yet, cycling shorts with printing on the ass - with a design of Calvin peeing on stuff, like big stupid trucks do, and it'll be of Calvin wearing a cycling helmet, peeing on cars. Or we'll have jerseys that say something like, "Bad Ass Boys Ride Bad Ass Bikes." (Incidentally, just yesterday on my ride I saw a car with "Bad Ass Girls Ride Bad Ass Boys" emblazoned on the back. Claaaassssssy. Why is it that you find all these types of bumper stickers on 1994 Chevy Luminas, instead of truly on anything remotely bad-ass? And who the hell buys this stuff for real? Like, who comes across this in the Calvin Peeing On Stuff/Bad Ass shop and says - dude, this is the bomb-diggity, this will look so dope on my Lumina, I simply have to have this-plus, I totally ride bad ass boys, and can't wait to tell the world - ) This'll be awesome, who's in?

3 comments:

Alili said...

This has nothing to do with anything, but I'm coming to RACINE!!! That's it, all I wanted to say:)

Triteacher said...

Ooh, sign me up!! I've often thought of doing a post just listing the bumper stickers I see on my rides and runs. Mada-biska! You can't make this shit up!

xt4 said...

Woot Alili! Are you racing, or spectating, or what? Sweet!!!!